It’s Not Paranoia If They Really Are Out To Get You

I’ve been doing this blogging thing a week. So far, reactions (all 3 of them) are mixed. My sister thought I was a genius (she’s my favorite sister of all time!), and a friend hoped he wouldn’t get mentioned, and Mr. GG got that stoic look, and reminded me that he is a federal employee, and that Homeland Security monitors all sorts of activity on the Web, and his career was keeping me in printer ink, and our 3 cats in expensive prescription diet cat food.

So let me make something perfectly clear. Get over yourselves!!!! This is MY blog. It is all about me, me, Me, ME!!! If I let little things like libel, and exacting standards of accuracy, and the statute of limitations worry me, well, I wouldn’t be blogging, now, would I?

Anything I say about anybody else, ever, is probably totally different than their perceptions of what I am talking about. I mean, without getting into a deep, philosophizing monologue into the nature of Reality, I am talking about my world. I am excavating my psyche and my past. The rest of you are all tangential bit players to the drama that is me.
Okay, that is a bit harsh. Because god help me when the Baby finds out I am doing this.

And I am careful. I mean in that Jane Goodall bit, I protected the cats’ identity. I didn’t say that Furbutt and Shamu are really Toby and Smudge and…. urk. Oops.

And just in case Homeland Security is checking on Mr. GG, I want you to know he is a fine, upstanding, honorable bureaucrat. If he ever even considered the tiniest jihad, it would be towards the idiots who loot archaeological sites. And he knows zilch about chemical stuff. Witness that laundry incident with the red shirt and white jockey shorts and bleach.

Worry about me, you guys. I like to pour baking soda and vinegar down the kitchen sink to clean my drain. And when I worked in Daycare, we did this fabulous thing where we mixed a few boxes of cornstarch and a little bit of water in plastic tubs and let the toddlers squish it till it turned grubby. That stuff was amazing. Solid when you picked it up, liquid when it dripped through your fingers.

And anyway, I like experimenting with the emotional stuff. I like to know what people do, and why they do it, and I like to laugh about a lot of it. What shows up on this blog is my reality, filtered through my perceptions, and mixed with a little bit, perhaps, of embroidery. If you are looking for something actionable, I will deny it to my last breath. Don’t make me call the lawyers!


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