Chick Flicks and Bruce Willis

I like action movies. In fact, it is one of the things Mr. GG finds endearing about me. (One of the many, MANY endearing things, I remind him. He grunts in response. I should know better than to discuss my finer points during the MacNeil report on PBS). But this man has never gone to a chick flick in my presence. Cause I don’t go to them. Okay, I did watch the “Sex and the City” movie with the Baby, on TV, but Mr. GG was out of town.

Most of my friends know that if they recommend a movie, the first thing I’m gonna ask is “Does it have explosions?”. I love explosions. By now my friends will say stuff like “Little Miss Sunshine” is great. No explosions, though”. I give them my “what’s the point?” face and they generally let it slide.

I don’t like to go to sensitive, thought provoking films. I’m all about the gratuitous violence. Go on all you want about social relevance, but really?, excuse me?, what compares with Bruce Willis crowing “Yippee-ki-ay, Motherfucker”, as he nails a hideous villain? Or the poignancy of Mel Gibson woofing at that big ole dumb dog in “Lethal Weapon 2”? Right before he blows somebody away. That, my dears, is the kind of immediate gratification that I crave. Maybe my moral compass is skewed, but I love it when karma falls hard and heavy on those who deserve it.

And, I think Bruce Willis is hot. The Baby and I have had some intense discussions about this, but I pull rank, and imply she has not developed a sophisticated palate in leading men yet. Although we both have a thing for David Boreanaz. And, excuse me? Anybody with an X chromosome is programmed to adore Johnny Depp. If you don’t, well, they make hormone treatments you can take to get you back on track.

I will occasionally watch other kinds of movies. My all time favorite movie is Robert Altman’s “Nashville”. And I adore a 1940’s Fred MacMurray comedy called “Murder, He Says”, about a census taker who gets involved with a bunch of murderous hillbillies who glow in the dark. The Baby got me to watch “High Fidelity”, but came to regret it, since I kept rewinding to the scene at the end where Jack Black sings. And I watch “Strictly Ballroom” every year or so. Mostly for the Cyndi Lauper song, and the dancing scene at the finale.

And when the Scifi channel runs a monster marathon, I am ecstatic. Giant squid, sea snakes, Sasquatch, basilisks, sharks run amok, cave dwelling creatures, oh yeah! When the Baby was young, she used to watch Japanese monster movies with me. You know, Godzilla, Mothra, Gorgo. In fact, one of our favorite games was re-enacting the scene in Gorgo where the monster mom and baby reunite. We’d clomp around the house, with our arms extended in front of us, making monster noises, and stomping down the pen where Baby Gorgo was trapped, so we could clumsily embrace. Mr. GG used to shake his head at us, and find someplace else to be. We’d clomp after him, grunting and making more monster sounds, which we found hysterical. Ah, those halcyon days of childhood. Sigh.

Anyway. Bruce Willis doesn’t make enough movies.

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One Response to “Chick Flicks and Bruce Willis”

  1. PQ Sister Says:

    Just watched 4 hours worth of movies featuring dragons and wyverns. Loved it! Now I know where this odd addiction for movies about monsters and the supernatural comes from. . .

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