How Green Was My Brain

Well, it’s St. Patrick’s Day, something we don’t make a big deal out of around here. Although someone has already asked Mr. GG where his green was today. He told them it was home in bed, and then had to explain he married Irish. Me having Irish ancestry doesn’t come up much, unless Mr. GG makes some crack about me having an Irish temper. I don’t, but it makes me furious when he says that, and I generally let him have it with both barrels, which sort of proves his point. One of my sisters was born on St. Patrick’s Day, and got Patricia for a middle name. A long time ago a cousin and I dumped green food coloring in the mashed potatoes for her birthday dinner, and while the potatoes looked festive, once that brown gravy was on them, they didn’t look so appetizing.

I am cooking corned beef for dinner, but mostly because it was on sale. You couldn’t pay me enough to boil cabbage to go with it. That stuff reeks. I think I will make a nice cheesy potato dish to go with it. Anyway, as far as I am concerned, the whole point of corned beef is to have leftovers to make reuben sandwiches.

I am moving kind of slow today, because yesterday was stressful. I called the doctor to make an appointment for some headaches I had been having. I checked them out on the internet medical sites, and it looked like it was some sort of TMJ or pinched nerve action going on. But the doctor’s office started asking me the kind of questions we all recognize as the signs of stroke, and insisted on getting me in pretty quickly. So, I’m here to tell you, if you don’t feel nauseated or a little shaky when you call to make a perfectly normal doctor’s appointment, by the time they grill you on weakness in your left side or any disorientation, you are bound to start feeling sick to your stomach, and a little nervous.

So, I take a few aspirin and call Mr. GG to see if he can take me to the doctor. You know, just in case. Then I lay down on the sofa, and tell myself that I am just fine, and alternate positive thoughts with choosing music for my funeral service (okay, so given enough time to brood, I can be a raging hypochondriac).

Anyway, we spend the rest of the afternoon at the doctor’s and she sends us along to the emergency room. I am on the whole, disgustingly healthy, so have not had to spend much time at hospitals. But here I am, having IV’s and getting an MRI, so they give me a little something to mellow me out before they insert me in that tube thingy. Good thing, too. I have now eliminated spelunking as a possible future activity. No way will I be crawling through narrow rock tubes to get to some pristine underground river or cavern lined with crystals. Seems I have a touch of claustrophobia. Who knew? They give me ear plugs, and I keep my eyes firmly shut, and I only have to ask to be pulled out once for a little breather. Then I get to hang around in the emergency room again, and I am freezing from being in that tube, so they put a heated blanket on me, and between that and those nice calming drugs, I zone out for a while. Mr. GG informs me I have snored. Since those calming drugs are still swimming around my blood stream, I don’t even care if thousands of strangers heard me snore. The doctor eventually shows up and tells me my brain is okay. Woooohooo. I am really glad, but mostly hungry. It is way past lunch and dinner time, and I NEED FOOD NOW! We drive through a Mexican fast food place and I inhale a burrito and taco before we even get home.

Later, when things have calmed down, I am still kind of groggy. Mr. GG mentions that he snuck around in the lab and saw my brain. Nobody was around to throw him out, so he stood at a window and watched my scans. I asked him if there was a lot of green. Green is my favorite color. I would like to think my brain scans show up like an explosion in a Crayola Factory, all bright and cheery with primary colors. He says no, that it was all black and white with a lot of shades of gray. We both snicker at that. He also mentions that he is a lucky man, because he has always wondered how my brain worked. We snicker at that, too.

Anyway, I still have to deal with these headaches, but that is nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to all the awful stuff it could have been, so today I am in a really good mood. I will not go so far as to say it is the luck of the Irish, but today, I won’t say it isn’t, either.

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2 Responses to “How Green Was My Brain”

  1. jess Says:

    eek!! thats super weird, i had to call in sick to work for the first time yesterday from a 2 day headache that i thought was going to kill me. it was like giant hands mercilessly crushing my skull for about 40 hours straight. not fun. i think i have for-real migraines, what did they decide is wrong with you? blaaahhh!!!!

    XOxX will call u this weekend

  2. jess Says:

    oh yeah, ben went to the ER on tuesday too! he cut his finger in a cheese slicer but he’s fine.

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