Please Don’t Send in the Clowns

I have never liked clowns. I think they’re creepy. I think the humor of clowns is puerile. Clowns don’t make me laugh – big shoes, bulbous red noses, frizzy hair, clashing outfits…. nope, just doesn’t do it for me. Clowns are like bathroom jokes… suitable for the unsophisticated palate of toddlers and pre-adolescent males. If you think 13 people climbing out of a little car is funny, you have obviously never had to take a girl scout troup anywhere, or juggled seating arrangements for a crew of visiting VIP’s in a rental vehicle. I mean some things just AREN’T FUNNY.

I loathe those paintings of Emmett Kelly. I hated those “sad clown” skits Red Skelton used to do on TV shows when I was a kid. I would never, ever hire a clown to work at a birthday party for kids, even though I do kinda like those balloon animals some of them make. Rainbow wigs make me barf.

But here’s a twist for you: I kinda don’t hate Pierrots. Pierrot is a broken hearted clown figure in whiteface, derived from some Italian comedy genre, and he is lovelorn for the heroine Columbine. Who ditches him for some guy in gaudy jammies named Harlequin. I think the reason I don’t hate Pierrot (despite his very close resemblance to those white faced travesties known as Mimes), is because there were a lot of Art Nouveau and Art Deco depictions of Pierrot in the Moonlight. It is sort of romantic if you don’t let yourself think about the whole clown aspect of it all. Or guys in whiteface. Um, I love Maxfield Parrish and he did some really nice paintings of Harlequins and Pierrots.

Wait. That isn’t a good enough reason to like Pierrot. Maybe I don’t like Pierrot’s so much, after all. Okay, I guess I am starting to creep myself out here…. . It’s okay though. I mean I have never been able to understand the appeal of the Three Stooges. Or Chevy Chase mid-pratfall.

If you are wondering why I have to work out these little distinctions on the internet, I have no answer for you. Sometimes these things just rise to the surface and must be excised. Okay the bottom line is, whatever you do, don’t send the clowns.


One Response to “Please Don’t Send in the Clowns”

  1. bicyclebuiltforone Says:

    HAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA girl scouts. I will only start worrying about you if i catch you on the street admiring the whack jobs who paint themselves silver and spend hours standing motionless on a bucket for spare change.

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