Spouse Speak

So, me and my beloved spouse (or rather my beloved spouse and I), are out and about running errands, and he is filling me in on all the details of his week he forgot to tell me.  Sigh.  I love this man, but he can sure talk your ear off.  I have several default settings I refer to when he gets on a roll – depending on my level of interest.  Yawning, reading the newspaper while he maunders on, napping, and rolling my eyes usually don’t do much to slow him down.  When he wants to tell me something, it gets told.  Since I do find much he says interesting (okay, but maybe in smaller sound bites), I ask questions and express enthusiastic opinions when I am invested in our conversations, so he can generally tell the difference.

On this occasion he detours from his monologue to tell me the person he is speaking of is “perfectly delightful”.   Now this is an attention grabber.  Mr. GG is a big, tough, macho brute (who dotes on his daughter and is a cat person, but few people know that).  It is hard to even imagine him saying “perfectly delightful”, much less hear him describe another woman that way.

I immediately jump into this conversation to find out more about the woman who is “perfectly delightful”, and what exactly makes a person “perfectly delightful”.  I think we were driving to Home Depot, which is a relatively short trip, so I had to get to the gist fast.

“Am I perfectly delightful?”  I am not sure how I want him to answer this – I guess it depends on his definitions.

It turns out he does not think I am perfectly delightful in the main, although there may have been occasions in the past, when I was.   Offhand he can’t recall any such occasion.

I come at it another way.  “So tell me somebody I  know who is perfectly delightful”.

He gives that some thought and mentions a woman who is kind, courteous, thoughtful, gracious, and lady like.  Okaaaaaay, then.  We’ve got our parameters outlined and I can live without being perfectly delightful.  Maybe.  I do like to push the envelope sometimes, so I put it on my “To do” list.   Mostly to scare him.  By this time we have arrived at Home Depot, so we bag the whole conversation, and go off in search of furnace filters, or hose clamps or whatever.  We have more important things to discuss.  There is a new Bruce Willis movie out, and you all know how much I love the Bruce.  Betcha Bruce don’t like no stinkin’ “perfectly delightful” ladies.  My world is back on its’ axis.


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